My to-do list went like this:
- Learn more protection spells
- Practice Psi-Balls
- Learn and practice defence spells
- Get Lee to teach me more healing stuff
- Check on Bree
- Research Shape-Shifter Venom
- Research Demon Anatomy
- Hell, research HUMAN anatomy for that matter...
Sometimes, life is too complicated.
Kali and Bree both worked for the Circle... I should really ask if there's something I can do that will keep me out of trouble and keep some money coming in. Lord knows Lee has been supporting my ass for too long since my last job went down in flames.
Since Lee had promised to teach me healing, and we were both going to see Bree later, I figured some research on the human anatomy should come first.
My theory was that Lee knew where everything in the body actually was - so he'd been able to navigate it easier than I had. He also know what everything was and what it was supposed to do.
Now, maybe this is just common sense speaking - but these seem to be things that are helpful to know when you're trying to heal people.
So, for the first time since we moved in together, I decided to ransack Lee's shelves for anatomy books.
I only found three - but one of them was big and had lots of really good pictures in. Gray's something or other I think it was. I wasn't really concentrating on names, I just wanted to know the layout. Like looking through a map - you try and remember the places in conjunction to each other, rather than just their names. I could care what the things names were, all I wanted to know was where they were, what they looked like, and what they did.
Surprisingly, that made things easier.
Things break down into systems in the body. Circulatory system, digestive system... they all have a purpose and (thank god) a logic to them.
So the bits at the top of the digestive system do one thing, while the things at the bottom do another - and all it takes is remember what order the process goes in and you're set on both place and role; the only thing that was difficult was remembering what things looked like... and I figured a process of elimination would work for now on that.
Circulatory system was similar in logic - what things did and how; it was simple.
The only things that were giving me grief were the liver and kidneys.
They were too complicated to get my head around.
Both cleaned the blood... but I just didn't understand how - or how they were different. That's what you get for skim reading though I suppose.
It was half one when I finally closed my stolen books in a huff and massaged my temples.
When did biology get so complicated?
The only cure for doing too much reading and thinking is something physical. The only thing that was really physical on my ever expanding to-do list (apart from the usual "Take up running", "Learn Aikido", "Join the Gym", "Go swimming" that never really got done) was spell practice.
My favourite spell has always been the psi-ball. You can make it look pretty, you can use it to give power, I've even seen it used to heal people in the past - and it's also one of the most common and effective weapons witches ever use. Since seeing Bree blast a shape-shifter at least seven foot in the air with one I'd been planing on practising harder.
When provoked, my powers would make spells up out of thin air; it grabs and magic that I've never even heard of and winds it into spells that would probably blow the socks off any creature... but it was unreliable. If I was panicking even slightly it would just leave me. Meditation wouldn't help on that front - only being constantly prepared for battle.
One of the things that makes me panic is thinking that I don't know how to protect myself. The theory I've come up with is this: Practice till I'm confident that what I know will save my ass in a fight - then I wont panic and so the uber-power wont run and hide.
Fear gives normal people adrenalin. Some witches get a power rush instead. It's completely meta-physical, there's no chemical change in their bodies what so ever. Occasionally I get that power rush instead.
It's only happened before when someone I care about is in danger; but I think there's a way to make it happen instead of the adrenalin. The only thing is, I need a really powerful psi-ball first.
So: Psi-ball practice it is.
First things first, when practising heavy-duty magic (which this is) you need to get prepared.
I'm not talking protection circle or anything like that. That's only for, like, ritual magic, or stuff that could get you hurt. No, for this kind of practice the preparation you need comes in the form of chocolate.
Snacks are imperative after performing big spells. They help you recover, and the sugar rush can also keep away any 'blow-back' energy. For example, if you make a powerful psi-ball and then you discharge it, some of that energy can linger around. If you encounter it in a weakened state it can flow back into you and act like an electric shock. Apparently there's been cases of it causing heart attacks. So you keep the snacks at hand for the instant boost of sugary goodness - just to stop any nastiness occurring.
Kali and Bree always keep chocolate cake and crisps close by when working magic; especially for Circles.
My snack of choice is the bourbon biscuit.
Chocolatey, yet biscuity.
I also like to have a bottle of juice laying around - both for in between spells and for during the biscuit binge.
I fetched my trusty sip-and-seal 'sports' bottle and filled it with orange squash. Maybe one day I'd use it for actual sports... but I doubted it. Grabbing the bourbons out of the cupboard I headed back to the living room.
If you move the coffee table to the wall there's enough space to lay down on our floor. I wasn't intending on lying down - but if I fell over, I didn't want to hit the table. It would hurt, and I was still nicely funky coloured from my last round of injuries; thank you very much. So after depositing my biscuits and books on the table, I unceremoniously shoved it towards the far wall; then dragged the cushions off both chairs and the sofa and scattered them in a heap in the centre of the room.
I brought my bottle along with me and nestled it between some cushions by my side as I settled down into a meditative position.
You don't have to clear your mind to make a psi-ball, but it helps. Being relaxed is the best way to get magic to flow; which is why battle magic is so hard to master.
After a few breaths I cupped my hands together and focused on pouring my energy into my hands. At the same time, I constructed a shielding spell around my hands to keep the energy in. It was like using the energy to create a forcefield around itself; one that would feed the energy and keep it in one place.
According to Marcus, once you have enough control you don't need the shielding spell; you can simply keep your energy in that ball through force of will. I'm not that controlled yet.
Aren't you? ... a little voice in my head asks.
After the hours practice with Lee at clamping down our energies I'd gained a larger degree of control than anyone had ever thought I'd manage. Maybe I wasn't as out of control as everyone thought..?
Taking a deep breath, I focused on the energy swirling in my hands, and dropped the shielding spell.
Instantly I felt the energy dissipating.
Before, I would notice it dissipating and then it would just stop staying where I put it. It would leak out until there was nothing left.
But maybe the trick was not to focus on the leaking. Maybe it was like the 'see me not' spell, where focusing on something else made it easier.
I closed my eyes and thought about Bree's ball of crackling power that she had summoned.
Focus.
The word rippled through my mind as I focused on my hands. They were drifting further apart.
I glanced down and saw not emptiness as I expected, but a growing orb of blue lightning. It looked just like the one Bree had made.
My psi-balls had never really had much colour or shape or light to them. They were more like that shimmer that you get in air when it's really hot - a slight rippling. Not like this. This was a weapon if ever I saw one.
The shock of it was making me loose control. It was growing rapidly.
Focus.
The cool voice in my mind soothed me and I unfocused my gaze, pulling the energy back inwards. The ball shrank, but didn't seem to diminish in power. The colour intensified, turning a bright blue; white surges of power seemed to crackle around it like barbed wire and silver razors. It looked almost physical.
Another deep breath and I thought about Kali's pink balls of light. She had been able to summon psi-balls that glowed with light and could be left and picked up. They were like lanterns.
She had told me that if she surrounded someone with them, they formed a strong protection circle.
I focused on how they had felt to touch, closing my eyes as I tried to recreate that feeling. Safe, warm, light.
When I opened my eyes again, a round purple ball of light hovered between my hands.
When I opened my eyes again, a round purple ball of light hovered between my hands.
It was almost too easy now. Psi-balls normally drained my energy and were frustrating. What had changed so dramatically in the past day and a half that was allowing me to create such near-perfect balls without a struggle?
Surely making up with Lee hadn't made this big a difference...
Confidence... the little voice whispered.
I pushed it aside.
Purple has always been my protection colour. Everyone uses colour for symbolism, but not everyone's is the same. I'm so very different to most people that they get confused. Purple for protection, Green for summoning, Yellow for celebratory magic, Red for healing... maybe I was just wired up wrong?
As it was, the psi-ball felt firm and good; protective. I wondered if I could put it down with out it winking out of existence like Kali's.
Most psi-balls are thrown, or shoved into people/objects/animals (in that order in my experience) so you don't have to worry about them after a few seconds. You keep them formed in your mind till they've done their job.
Ones that you leave on the ground have to be kept alive in your mind. You have to stay in control of them until you want to dispel them. It's harder.
Putting the orb down was slightly nerve racking, but the calm voice that I like to think of as my voice of reason was there, keeping me chilled out enough to not loose focus. The ball glowed slightly brighter as I move my hands away and sit back.
It didn't grow dim, or start to fade... or anything else bad (like explode).
Now I just had to know how far I could push this new found control.
Yes, I admit, surrounding myself with a bunch of stuff that could potentially explode probably wasn't my best idea's ever... but then, I don't have many good ideas; nor do I have many that go terribly wrong most of the time. So it was worth the risk.
After half an hour, I had six purple orbs laid out in a circle around me.
The strain of keeping them all glowing bright and powerful was starting to give me a headache - but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Some how the stress was just... not there. It was as if things were just too simple to stress about; only the concentration was getting to me. I didn't even feel that drained.
My phone started to ring, breaking my concentration slightly.
The orbs began to wobble and go dim.
"Shit." I cursed my phone as I dug it out of my pocket.
Lee's picture smiled up at me and I tried to split my focus between the orbs and him.
"Hello?" I answered, the strain not showing too badly through my voice
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah... you?" Three of the balls were flickering darker. Best case scenario: they'd just sputter out and disappear. Worst case scenario? I didn't want to know.
"I'm good. Finished a little early. Do you fancy meeting in town before heading to Bree's? We could grab lunch?" There was something odd in his voice, but I was too focused on the damn orbs to work out what it was.
"Sure. You sure you're okay?" One of the orbs was starting to vibrate. Not good.
"Yeah, yeah - see you in fifteen minutes?" Now I knew something was going on. He was acting too odd. But I had to get off the phone and deal with the orbs. Two more were starting to shake.
"Okay, see you soon." I agreed, trying to focus on the balls
"Bye." -click-
I'd have taken more time to be offended at him hanging up so abruptly on me, but hey - I could be about to blow up. Priorities!
I took a deep breath and concentrated on the orbs. Just them, nothing else.
If I concentrated hard enough I could almost touch them with my mind.
As soon as I thought of it, the six balls stopped shaking.
I bet I could move them round...
The six of them shifted left, slowly starting to rotate around me.
"Okay, cool - but creepy." I said, opening my eyes and willing them to stop.
The first ball I touched still felt warm and soothing, and I was loath to disband it; but needs must.
One by one the purple orbs of light winked out of existence in my hands, until I was left alone in the room with my cushions.
It felt colder, and somehow sadder, without them.
I reached automatically for my biscuits, munching through at least four before realising I didn't really need them. I felt fine.
Something was definitely up if I was able to play with that many psi-balls without passing out.
What the hell was going on today?
I glanced at my phone and swore again.
There were only 7 minutes left to get to town and meet Lee; only 7 minutes to get there and find out what the hell was up with him.
My phone was shoved into my pocket, my bottle of juice slung in my favourite book-bag along with a few 'essentials' (like notebooks, pens, pencils, salt, books, purse) and, key in hand, I was out the door.
When was the last time Lee finished work early?
Well, when was the last time he finished early and told you about it?
Still, something didn't feel right.
I hoped it wasn't anything bad. I didn't know if I could bare any more bad this week; even if my control did seem to have gained new bounds.
Just please, Goddess, let him be okay...
-------------------------------------------------------------- Part 7
-------------------------------------------------------------- Part 7
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