There was a moment of silence in our secluded corner, and I wondered if I'd just lit a fuse to some high explosives. Hannah still looked like she'd like to shove a crackling psi-ball into my chest - or maybe even just shove her hand in my chest and rip out my heart.
I don't like it when people look at me like that.
Neither does my magic, which was itching to leap across the table on its own and extinguish her life force.
Just the thought of a part of me being able, let alone willing, to do that scares me if I'm honest. It's as if it has a mind of its own at time and I'm just along for the ride.
No one moved. No one said anything. The tension levels just kept getting higher and higher.
Let me explain something about magic: a lot of it is linked to your emotions. As far as I can work out, our aura is like an energy force - and for witches it's either a lot bigger or we can just flex it like a muscle; almost like being double jointed. So you can concentrate and use it in a controlled way - just like using your hand to write; or you can react with it - like catching a ball. The concentration is only needed in a big way if you're writing something you're unfamiliar with - like an English person starting to write in Cantonese symbols - which is why it hurts my head so much, it's all so unfamiliar. On the other hand, you don't always react; you wont always catch the ball, you wont even always go to catch the ball. So it's not fully predictable.
With Li, his 'magical reaction' was to dodge rather than catch. I got the impression that Cairn would be similar. They're more intuitive when it comes to defensive magic - or healing I guess.
Hannah was probably more like me - ready to catch that ball and fling it back at you as hard as she could.
Alex was the only one I couldn't predict. He was so under control of himself that what ever he did would be a surprise. I always wished I could be like that. Calm, in control, unaffected by the situation.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, placing my hands palm down on the table and splaying my fingers. Sometimes you can dissipate energy or feelings through contact with your element. Mine's earth, and Jim favoured granite table tops. Lucky me.
"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, sounding (if not entirely feeling) composed.
My gaze hovered around Hannah, but the question was directed at all of them.
Hannah didn't hesitate this time - she was still too mad at me.
"What were you doing out there? We felt the power you were raising all the way at our circle! What kind of evil are you trying to manipulate that requires that much power?"
My mouth literally dropped open. I couldn't think of a reply to that. All we'd done is forged a circle and started raising our own power levels so that we had enough to work our spells with. Everyone does that - except endurance junkies - otherwise you burn up your own aura and it takes so long to replenish that you're ill for days.
Hannah, however, seemed to take this as an admission of guilt.
Apparently I was shocked they'd worked out the truth, rather than thinking they were crazy.
"Oh yes, we felt it!" She went on, sliding into a comfortable snobbish air of contrition. "If it had been your full coven we would have believed your innocence; but for only two of you to be power raising like that? Do you think we're fools? What evil are you trying to draw down on us?"
My wide eyed stare wasn't helping where Hannah was concerned; but it seemed to be having an uncomfortable effect on the boys. They didn't seem half as certain as her - or maybe they just hadn't planned on letting this much information slip.
Alex kept looking at me as if he were trying to pry back my mind and find the truth.
I realised a little too late that he probably was doing that.
My gut reaction was to shut him out completely - but then I remembered that I hadn't that sort of thing to hide.
I couldn't work out how to protect my inner most secrets without closing him out completely. This was getting far too complicated.
There's a technique to shutting your mind. I'm apparently a natural at it though. My first circle Tanya had decided to probe my mind. I'd cast her out so forcefully she literally flew away from me. It was as if I'd hit her hard in the chest. I was learning control though, and this guy was barely probing more than the edges.
I gave a little nudge; with the enchantment still in place he wouldn't be able to do much anyway, but I still wanted him to know I wasn't happy with him trying.
In fact, if it weren't for the enchantment, that little flex might have shoved him clean out of my mind.
That place was just a fortress of its own sometimes.
Part of me wondered if Circle White Dawn were right to think of me as a weapon.
I'd not been reaching anything like my potential without Lee to compete and practice with.
I wondered if that little zap I'd felt earlier, when his leg had touched mine and the 'look away' charm had settled on the remaining customers, meant that we were literally stronger together.
Dan had 'shared' power with me only recently - but it hadn't felt quite like that. It had more been like leaning on someone when you can't walk easily. This was like being zapped by a plug socket.
Concentrating on keeping Alex a little further distanced from my inner thoughts had given me time to calm down and try to think of what to say.
My mind had been running through a check list:
Your first thoughts of that amount of power is of raising evil creatures? Interesting...
I couldn't say that out loud though.
You think we were raising a demon or something? Do you realise I'm scared shitless of those things??
Too personal, better to not give away your fears to people you think are trying to hurt you and your friends. People who could, possibly, have been the cause of a friends death...
You think two of us could raise something like that? Don't you need a full coven?
If that were true they'd think I knew more about raising demons than I did.
"There's no way we called enough power for you to feel at any distance. There were only two of us - and I'm not even initiated yet. Bree may be good, but she's not that good."
For the first time I wished Lee had been in that clearing with me - just so he'd have been able to back me up with the truth. I realised a second later that having him with us, as a healer, would have been a huge help too.
I shook my head, both to clear the thoughts and to emphasise my disbelief.
"I'm sick of this bullshit." I said, swearing for the second time in only minutes. I wasn't exactly angry any more, just annoyed and frustrated. "You lied to Lee to get us here, you cast a spell that effects us without intending to even tell us, you lie about the reason your High Priestess was in a clearing trying to kill us, and now you accuse me of summoning the sort of things that have been sent to attack our coven - that I've watched kill people, my friends..." I shook my head and felt Lee's hand on top of my own.
Some how the tears didn't come. It was one of the first times since thinking about Lani's death that I'd not cried. Go me!
Cairn was looking at me in surprise, Alex was frowning - deep in thought I think. Hannah was frowning in a completely different way. Anger really did not suit that girl; it made her look ugly in a way that I couldn't describe. Right now she looked like she'd very much like to reach across the table and rip my throat out, then use my blood as ketchup.
"We're leaving." I said, Lee and I standing simultaneously - hands still clasped together.
"Wait." Cairn stood, but made no move towards us. He simply stood with his hands held loosely by his sides. "Please. What attacked your coven?"
The question threw me. Was he so new that he didn't know what his own coven had been doing? I felt pity for him.
"Demons. Shifters. Creatures of evil that no one would name..." I looked down on Hannah, my face showing all of my contempt and repulsion at her and her beloved Circle Half-Light. "Just remember the Rule of Three..." I said, directly to her.
Then we left.
None of them made a move to follow us.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Part 10
I don't like it when people look at me like that.
Neither does my magic, which was itching to leap across the table on its own and extinguish her life force.
Just the thought of a part of me being able, let alone willing, to do that scares me if I'm honest. It's as if it has a mind of its own at time and I'm just along for the ride.
No one moved. No one said anything. The tension levels just kept getting higher and higher.
Let me explain something about magic: a lot of it is linked to your emotions. As far as I can work out, our aura is like an energy force - and for witches it's either a lot bigger or we can just flex it like a muscle; almost like being double jointed. So you can concentrate and use it in a controlled way - just like using your hand to write; or you can react with it - like catching a ball. The concentration is only needed in a big way if you're writing something you're unfamiliar with - like an English person starting to write in Cantonese symbols - which is why it hurts my head so much, it's all so unfamiliar. On the other hand, you don't always react; you wont always catch the ball, you wont even always go to catch the ball. So it's not fully predictable.
With Li, his 'magical reaction' was to dodge rather than catch. I got the impression that Cairn would be similar. They're more intuitive when it comes to defensive magic - or healing I guess.
Hannah was probably more like me - ready to catch that ball and fling it back at you as hard as she could.
Alex was the only one I couldn't predict. He was so under control of himself that what ever he did would be a surprise. I always wished I could be like that. Calm, in control, unaffected by the situation.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, placing my hands palm down on the table and splaying my fingers. Sometimes you can dissipate energy or feelings through contact with your element. Mine's earth, and Jim favoured granite table tops. Lucky me.
"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, sounding (if not entirely feeling) composed.
My gaze hovered around Hannah, but the question was directed at all of them.
Hannah didn't hesitate this time - she was still too mad at me.
"What were you doing out there? We felt the power you were raising all the way at our circle! What kind of evil are you trying to manipulate that requires that much power?"
My mouth literally dropped open. I couldn't think of a reply to that. All we'd done is forged a circle and started raising our own power levels so that we had enough to work our spells with. Everyone does that - except endurance junkies - otherwise you burn up your own aura and it takes so long to replenish that you're ill for days.
Hannah, however, seemed to take this as an admission of guilt.
Apparently I was shocked they'd worked out the truth, rather than thinking they were crazy.
"Oh yes, we felt it!" She went on, sliding into a comfortable snobbish air of contrition. "If it had been your full coven we would have believed your innocence; but for only two of you to be power raising like that? Do you think we're fools? What evil are you trying to draw down on us?"
My wide eyed stare wasn't helping where Hannah was concerned; but it seemed to be having an uncomfortable effect on the boys. They didn't seem half as certain as her - or maybe they just hadn't planned on letting this much information slip.
Alex kept looking at me as if he were trying to pry back my mind and find the truth.
I realised a little too late that he probably was doing that.
My gut reaction was to shut him out completely - but then I remembered that I hadn't that sort of thing to hide.
I couldn't work out how to protect my inner most secrets without closing him out completely. This was getting far too complicated.
There's a technique to shutting your mind. I'm apparently a natural at it though. My first circle Tanya had decided to probe my mind. I'd cast her out so forcefully she literally flew away from me. It was as if I'd hit her hard in the chest. I was learning control though, and this guy was barely probing more than the edges.
I gave a little nudge; with the enchantment still in place he wouldn't be able to do much anyway, but I still wanted him to know I wasn't happy with him trying.
In fact, if it weren't for the enchantment, that little flex might have shoved him clean out of my mind.
That place was just a fortress of its own sometimes.
Part of me wondered if Circle White Dawn were right to think of me as a weapon.
I'd not been reaching anything like my potential without Lee to compete and practice with.
I wondered if that little zap I'd felt earlier, when his leg had touched mine and the 'look away' charm had settled on the remaining customers, meant that we were literally stronger together.
Dan had 'shared' power with me only recently - but it hadn't felt quite like that. It had more been like leaning on someone when you can't walk easily. This was like being zapped by a plug socket.
Concentrating on keeping Alex a little further distanced from my inner thoughts had given me time to calm down and try to think of what to say.
My mind had been running through a check list:
Your first thoughts of that amount of power is of raising evil creatures? Interesting...
I couldn't say that out loud though.
You think we were raising a demon or something? Do you realise I'm scared shitless of those things??
Too personal, better to not give away your fears to people you think are trying to hurt you and your friends. People who could, possibly, have been the cause of a friends death...
You think two of us could raise something like that? Don't you need a full coven?
If that were true they'd think I knew more about raising demons than I did.
"There's no way we called enough power for you to feel at any distance. There were only two of us - and I'm not even initiated yet. Bree may be good, but she's not that good."
For the first time I wished Lee had been in that clearing with me - just so he'd have been able to back me up with the truth. I realised a second later that having him with us, as a healer, would have been a huge help too.
I shook my head, both to clear the thoughts and to emphasise my disbelief.
"I'm sick of this bullshit." I said, swearing for the second time in only minutes. I wasn't exactly angry any more, just annoyed and frustrated. "You lied to Lee to get us here, you cast a spell that effects us without intending to even tell us, you lie about the reason your High Priestess was in a clearing trying to kill us, and now you accuse me of summoning the sort of things that have been sent to attack our coven - that I've watched kill people, my friends..." I shook my head and felt Lee's hand on top of my own.
Some how the tears didn't come. It was one of the first times since thinking about Lani's death that I'd not cried. Go me!
Cairn was looking at me in surprise, Alex was frowning - deep in thought I think. Hannah was frowning in a completely different way. Anger really did not suit that girl; it made her look ugly in a way that I couldn't describe. Right now she looked like she'd very much like to reach across the table and rip my throat out, then use my blood as ketchup.
"We're leaving." I said, Lee and I standing simultaneously - hands still clasped together.
"Wait." Cairn stood, but made no move towards us. He simply stood with his hands held loosely by his sides. "Please. What attacked your coven?"
The question threw me. Was he so new that he didn't know what his own coven had been doing? I felt pity for him.
"Demons. Shifters. Creatures of evil that no one would name..." I looked down on Hannah, my face showing all of my contempt and repulsion at her and her beloved Circle Half-Light. "Just remember the Rule of Three..." I said, directly to her.
Then we left.
None of them made a move to follow us.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Part 10
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